Monthly Archives: February 2016

Training Gets A Little Sidetracked and The Joys Of Aging…

“So, you are telling me that you are planning to electrocute my face???”

“Well, yes…”

“Multiple time???”

“Only five times…”

“FIVE TIMES???”

“….per minute…for several minutes…”

“How strong of a shock?”

“We usually have to use higher voltage on the face then elsewhere…since the muscles are smaller so we need to stimulate them more then other muscles.”

“So, what does it feel like?”

“Have you ever touched an electric fence?”

“No. I try to avoid doing that…”

“Well, it’s kind of like that.”

“But, with my face…”

“Ummm…yeah…”

“Repeatedly?”

“Yeah…”

“For several minutes?”

“Yep”

“And, I have to pay for this?”

“Insurence should pay for it. So you are just picking up the co-pay…”

“So, what do I do between the repeated shocks?”

“Well, we will ask you to exercise…”

“Exercise my face?”

“Yes.”

“How do I do that?”

“Just scrunch your facial muscles to make a real mad/unhappy face. We usually don’t even have to ask since patients are usually already doing it on their own. Swearing is optional, but common and encouraged. We don’t specify on the report HOW you exercised your facial muscles…”

Yeah, that conversation happened yesterday. I had noted a bit of double vision at my last eye exam. Eye doc thought my eye muscles were getting old, and he could adjust my prescription accordingly…but had strongly urged a neurological evaluation “just to be sure”. The exam was normal. So were the blood tests and the CT Scan. But, he suggested an EMG…”out of an abundance of caution”.

Which has led to this moment…with electrodes being attached in front of one ear, my chin, and (most unnerving) below both eyes.

“You will be zapping my eyeballs?”

“No, the electric current will be sent to the nerve in front of your ear. That nerve travels to the eye. That electrode just records the electrical conduction.”

“So, you are zapping my ear, and my body zaps my eyes on its own.”

“We hope so. That is what we are testing. Hold still…”

In the end, it wasn’t that bad. The test was normal. I was diagnosed with TMB Syndrome (“Too Many Birthdays”) and will get better glasses….

…and, I will resist the urge to find an electric fence just to touch it…with my face…repeatedly…ever again…

 

 

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Race Report: Valentine’s Day 5K

February 13, 2016
Minneapolis, MN
Event #93

Although this this event has been around forever (oldest Twin Cities winter running event), I have never been tempted to run it. I run for bling, and I want chip timing. This event was always an untimed “fun run” with no medal. Last year, they added chip timing. This year they added bling. They also made it the first race of a series “Summit Challenge” that gives guaranteed entry to the Twin Cities 10 mile (one of only 2 events in the state that is a lottery). So, I signed up.

When race day arrived, I was very under motivated. The air temp was -10F. I would have to arrive early to get one of the few parking spots near the start line. So, this would be a 1 hour drive each way, and 1+ hour of waiting around for a 5k. I would have to layer up to the point that I would have a load of laundry from this 30 minute event.

The things I do for bling…

Fortunately, there was no wind. I didn’t count the layers as I put them on, but I had 6 thermal tops/jackets and 4 sets of bottoms. I ended up being nice and toasty.

I got there very early, hung out in the car and went down to get my packet. The event shirt was long sleeved, pink, and stated “Running makes me HOT”. They also had back tags to indicate relationship status-Green “Single”, Red “Taken”, and Yellow “It’s Complicated”. I saw a lot of yellow tags on the course. Did not see any mingling with the green tag folks (but, it’s hard to try to meet people when everybody had every square inch of their body bundled for the polar vortex).

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Not much to say about the event except that it was nice. It was one lap around a downtown lake. Most of the ice was off the path/road, but it was cold and crowded…I possible to try for a PR. So, I just fond a comfortable pace and plodded along.

Finish Time: 31:54

We got a heart shaped medal at the finish (the organizers of this event have never been known for their medal design, but have really stepped up their game in the last 1-2 years. This medal was not jaw-dropping, but a surprisingly nice 2.5″ effort for this organization). There was also some hot cocoa which everyone reached for as they scuttled back to the warmth of their car as fast as they could.

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Next event (and second series event): Hot Dash 10 Mile-March 19.

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